Who & what is Larry?
Larry The Lizard is a small plastic toy lizard found in some novelty stores and once you obtain a Larry (through finding him, having one given to you, or other) and once it's been Larrilized, you can drink exactly one shot of liquid out of it's mouth and get totally cocked (on the piss, as Aussies might say).
Because, when in party mode, people often do fun or crazy things and say, "Ah what the heck!," about life, or just feel like 'going sick' in general for even just a moment, it is a great way to express this feeling and not care about it all. You could enjoy a Larry and pass him on, or you could yell "woo hoo!" and smash him down and kick over a guitar stand. Whatever blows yer hair back.
This all became a thing to enjoy from college parties in the 1980's to present--all over the world. So when someone hands you a Larry, you too can shrug and laugh and partake as well!
Larry The Lizard is not about making money or some mahhhketing scheme. We tried that. Dudnt work, and frankly it shouldn't. It is about just going sick and being out of one's head--if only for a brief moment of not having to always be perfectly normal in life--as if anyone truly is anyway. Enjoy, let go, drink from a Larry today! When yer done, warsh him and give it to yer kiddoes as a toy. They'll love Larry as much as you do, but for their own imagination and enjoyment!
Larry The Lizard hopes you stay healthy and happy, and that you make the most of the time you have with friends and family. Perhaps we have all been given a chance to improve some things! And that way you can go sick another day and enjoy life again whilst always caring about your fellow mates!
Larry The Lizard boarded AirForce II when Al Gore was Vice President and the world could have gone sick but didn't. But we had Larry, however, and that's all we need.
Larry is not just one thing he is everything. He goes totally sick. This site has been an experiment in bringing back what once was and what will be again. Don't pre-load the dice, just go with it.
Larry was there when you were but a wee lad. Now you are older than your mother. Larry is still going sick.
There are stories olde and true
Of lizardes so going sick like me and you
And I can see myself
Let drinking history repeat itself
Back in college, which for me was at Umass, Amherst in the 1980s, there was much drinkery and more. I was also on the extended college plan having taken time off for one reason or another.
Over time I met many souls, and one such guy nic-named Shrub, because his hair looked like one, was quite the partier indeed. He invited us over his rented apartment one afternoon and went to grab some schnapps out of the freezer where he kept it chilled. He also had this toy plastic lizard in there he named Larry. I think after a football player, although some thought it was after Larry Bird of the then great Celtics. Either way, he said he got it at some thrift shop and he poured a shot into the lizard's open mouth and drank it.
He then poured another and handed it to me. And so on. We all had shots of Larry. We then headed over to this keg party (then known as keggers) and had to pay $3 to get in. They gave us red cups. We had a tough time getting beer and soon figure out that people with blue cups were getting beers but not people with the red ones. So I took Larry to the guy with the keg tap and got him to fill just the lizard, which holds about a shot. He did so and I drank it. Then he poured another and so on, and soon everyone around the keg was chanting Larry. Then he began to fill our cups too. We left that party as super stars at least in our minds.
Later, Larry parties became the norm. But Larry got lost and there was much sadness. Until a girl I was dating found another at a store. Looking back, she was a rocker and she also found my drinking tool so she was a keeper too, but I was young and stupid and let her go over time. Am better off now but still, you get my point. The new Larry lived on for many moons. Then a friend found a store that sold them. I would later meet a better girl and marry her cuz she was way cooler and even hottah!
Like the gnome from that travel company commercial, Larry goes everywhere. unlike the gnome, there can be more than one, which is the beauty of Larry. And the gnome is silly. Larry goes sick and looks like he is ready to rock And he is meant to get stolen. the word was spread and more Larry partying was had by all. Later, a company out west was found that sold them by the case. I bought hundreds. They have to be Larrilized --have the name LARRY written on the front in sharpie, and the foot colored black, and then they are valid. Later, when my clan of college friends migrated to the world of getting ski houses, we brought Larry with us and he took over ski towns by storm, particularly, Stowe, VT where many of us still go and some even moved to.
Some locals up there still think my real name is Larry. I started an events planning business with Larry as the mascot and did well for a while, but all things do end. At the time I had even trademarked Larry and this came in handy when Budweiser wanted to make lizard mascots but we asked them not to in writing and they actually listened. We did host some pretty sick parties with local bands and whatnot, and had like 500+ people at some of these gigs. Many Jimmy Buffett tailgate parties too with 200+ and live bands and everything involving a tequila drinking Lizard. And in VT, bars had Larrys behind the bar for people who wanted a shot, and there were ski events and dummy air contests with giant Larrys in them. I entered a pond skimming contest too dressed as the giant lizarde. And Larry, the many that were out there, traveled the world. He met Gorbachev, Al Gore, movie stars, and went to places like Stonehenge and the south pacific. This was all before the miles craze we started out with.
One of my main concepts was that if I created enough hype about this lizard, people would naturally hear about it and want to know what it was, and then that alone would create more hype, so this could create something big. This was before social media and selfies so I was onto something but without the computer. And it was working.
A web site was started with another guy named AF Grant. He did the content and posted tons of funny pics of Larry. AF went on to make plush Larrys for kids and even a book about his Larry which you can buy on Amazon. He has the site, Larrythelizard.com now but this site is about the actual, real Larry, which you can drink out of, which is way bettah than kid's plush toys. Unless, I guess, you are a kid. Then again, everyone I know from college who loved Larry also had one for their kids to play with when they were growing up, so maybe we will let the next generation decide. And speaking of Star Trek, Larry even made it onto the Voyager series--Season 3, Episodes 8&9, "The Future's End" when they go back in time to LA in 1996 and visit a scientist in an observatory who has a Larry perched on her computer, but that's another story, and I don't believe that Larry was Larilized.
There was some banter regarding Larry's origins and the false connection to Lawrence Taylor by the NY contingent. This week I reconnected with my old friend Mike Arnold, Larry's original owner. Below is the dialogue that sets the record straight:
“So Mike, believe it or not, Larry the Lizard became a party community icon for years after UMass. A friend of mine had a website dedicated to Larry hijinx. Another friend had other plans and subsequently Larry has evolved into a plush stuffed animal and children’s book series. This actually caused a rift among some friends because they believed it ignored Larry’s original mission statement lol.
Now there are some NY UMass guys saying that LARRY was named after Lawrence Taylor when nothing could be further from the truth.
Sometime after the original was lost, a source was found and Larrys were purchased by the case. There were Larrys attached to skis, a giant Larry suit, etc. But the 33 was replaced with Larry’s name, so the Larry Bird connection has become a cause for debate and guys are telling me now that Larry Bird had nothing to do with it. That’s where I draw the line...
As Larry’s original owner, could you shed some light on the origin of Larry for these guys? (Who obviously he was named after, why he had a giant number 33 on his chest etc.) I have been trying to tell them but they do not believe.
Isn’t that what LinkedIn is all about?”
“He was looking at me I was looking at him one night at the red house, (remember that place in front of the apartment we had in town). He jumped out at me I took him to a party he rocked the place, drinking shots out of his mouth etc. named after arguably the greatest hoop player of all time, on and on. I miss the reptile.
The original also had a foot missing, burnt off, but he could still go! Tell NY not even close...no false legacy!”
I gave Mike A some background on Larry over the years and sent him the link to the Larry kids site. I told of the old website that had been made that Flipper started and AF Grant helped create- All kinds of Larry related craziness. Not about money at all, just sickness. Then AF Grant wanted to make money with this and so he trademarked Larry and made the kids stuff.
He's amazed at how much it has grown and loves all of it. He also agrees with the consensus here that it’s great for kids but when they grow up already indoctrinated into Larrydom they’re going to need a plastic Larry to drink beer out of. So there should be a website for Larry’s original mission of fun and sickness and imbibing...
PS: 'Twas Shrub who got Larry from Mike and brought him forth to first go sick. This is known. And it turns out that Shrub be the brother of Fidor, and the brother of Fidor is who he be!
In the latter years of Umass, Larry lived out his days at Theta Chi Fraternity with Flipper and friends who boarded there. Shrub was among these friends and he had invented the term "going sick." A shout out goes to the brothers from other muthahz. It was Shrub who helped usher skiing into Larry's world and a Theta Chi bloke named Dave who said, "Bløep, I kant meuve!" who told Flipper which Vermont mountain to go to from then on. Larry has skied and traveled ever since, and he continues to entertain people ünd kinder all over de wereled!
From Tonner, who has spoken of Lare on April Fools Day 2021 and is not quite a fan of the direction AF Grant took the former website to run a business for plush lare and all...
The olde Larry website site, as we knew it, shouldn't be resurrected.
Its legacy gives it value. That, at one point in time, there was this wondrous website that served as a kind of sanctuary, far from the mediocrity of our daily lives.
It's like going to Fenway Park on a Saturday afternoon.
Suddenly, you're surrounded by greenery, far from the maddening crowd and chaos of that which exists outside its walls.
The comet that burns twice as bright only burns half as long.
That is Larry's legacy...
As one friend said, “Larry is the stupidest and greatest thing I have I have seen, but it works! I’ve seen proof if it!”
The Munich Mädchen pictured here loved the fun and community that Larry helps bring forth.
Alas, once enough people around you enjoy and drink from Larry, you now have to wonder... they can’t all be wrong.
Of course, just like any style or idea, there are some people for whom Larry just does not work. That’s fine. We hope they just say something like, “Well that’s not for me” and politely move on and not be a jerk about it. But some are actually angry or mean when they call it stupid—and it is (in a silly way), but some of these folks get downright mad about it.
My thinking is: Look, we work hard, try to be good, maybe some of us have families or very busy positions in important jobs, school, etc... so I think we need and should have a time to enjoy silly fun in our own way. What’s the harm? Maybe you just need to go sick once and a while and not care about the matters of self-perfection. Nobody will attain it anyway. And those who strive for perfect by putting others down, well, they are the real fools.
But some folks want to put it down and call it foolish, and they can be serious buzz killers who cannot let any new ideas in. They might even get surly or pushy about it. Larry has seen it!
And yet, to most rational people, hatred, selfishness and staunchness are the things that are stupid, not some toy lizzid what people think is cool to drink outa.
What’s really interesting is how bringing out Larry can reveal so much about people. You’ll find that many drinkers chuckle or cheer, some try a drink and say “woo hoo!” and some do so to say, “ah heck, why not!” But some people need to be angry and against mixing traditions even for a silly moment and so if they have been hiding this attitude, the introduction of Larry will reveal it to you as you present the lizard and they turn away in anger or loudly protest that they would never do such things!
Look folks, Larry has been around for a long time, actually, and so melding him with other drinking traditions should be celebrated, not shunned. After all, those old traditions were new once too!
So if someone offers you a shot of Lare and you don’t want it, just smile and wave and enjoy your fun. Let others have theirs. Of course if you do enjoy your first shot of Larry, you will see what we mean!
The youthful, vibrant, international crowd of Munich's Oktoberfest Hofbräu tent (circa Sept. 2019) and some of its lovely staff embraced Larry and he thanks you all for your support and willingness to go sick.
Larry The Lizard is a concept as well as an actual living, breathing creature of this, our Earth. When first introduced, no one had any idea that some day Lawrence T. Lizarde would rise above and conquer the world of going sick.
Being out of one’s complete mind is what makes us better prepared for life’s many curve balls. Larry is the vehicle for such a preparatory philosophy. Larry, therefore, is a concept of enjoyment. Interesting, creative and fun individuals who live life to its limits have been known to utilize Larry in their leisure time at all costs.
When your house burns down and you lose your job, or your lover leaves you for another and your vehicle gets stolen, you can sit there and sulk, or shrug it all off and say, “We have Larry however, and that’s all we need!” Then you’ll start a new!
However, it should be known that Larry is not a dragon thing or some kind of dinosaurus-rex—oh no. Larry is actually an Australian Frilled Lizard. Yes, do note that Larry, through his clones, who have been “validated” by a special ritual of “Larrilization”, has traveled the globe going totally sick. He has met celebrities and world leaders, seen global change, been at great heights and depths, and has done it all in the name of going totally sick.
Thus, Larry believes that people and thingz are responsible for their own actions. If you should imbibe from Larry in any way, shape or form and if you grow lumps, legions or lizard scales, or you contract any illness, Larry is not responsible for your actions.(Larry doesn’t “get U ill,” he goes totally sick with you!)... In so much as one were to “go sick” with the aforementioned lizard, one would then be rendered, “totally cocked.”
In fact, Larry disclaims responsibility for any damage, harm or consequences resulting from the proper or improper use of said lizard. Larry disclaims responsibility for mental illness, lost relationships and broken homes. Furthermore, Larry disclaims everything written on this caahhd, on the Web site of Larry and all existence of logic and known theory.
That’s all we have to say. –The Staff
From a friend from long ago, and I forget which one:
I went through the Dunkin Donuts tonight with my friend Ana and when I had to pay at the window--I put the money in Larry the Lizards mouth and had Larry give the money to the cashier-guy. I said, "this is Larry the Lizard" and the guy said "would Larry the lizard like a munchkin?" And we said "sure!" so when he handed the munchkin over to Larry who attacked that thing like the lizard he is and the munchkin was gone in seconds..ve
Insert British accent for this one:
Hi, I'm Larry. Not long ago I had a thought. Right in the back of a taxi. Using a tequila should be SIMPLER. So I told Cuervo and look at this: Larry The Lizard--with this new flask at the bar. Now I can see every drink that I have open. It's just miles simpler. I told them what to do and they did it. I could really get used to this. Onward driver! I'm a PC and Going Sick was my idea.
Lare & Order:
In the Larry The Lizard system, the Tequilas are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the bartenders, who serve drinks, and the people going totally sick, who get cocked and do shots. These are their stories.
Folk-Lare, by Tim Tonner:
In 1486,Hans Schmidt, like any young boy, was curious about everything. But on this warm spring day, he was particularly curious about the small, white boxes with the big red circle in the middle, scattered and blowing about freely in the village square, like tumbleweed he would see so often on the television westerns he loved to watch at home when skipped school.
Where did they come from?, thought Hans as he followed a trail of these strange empty boxes that eventually lead to a dumpster behind the local tavern. Here, he would find his laderhausened-friends sitting around chainsmoking cigarettes and delighting in their new-found nicotine habit, flicking butts at each other, laughing aloud and gestering to Hans to join in. Cigarettes? In 1486 Austria? The young Hans began to feel lightheaded at the absurdity of what was taking place....
Cigarette smoking. What a novel idea, he thought, and a whole lot better than poking some oxen around a muddy field all afternoon whilst his father constantly reminded him of the virtues of being a farmer...
More by Tonner:
Gildenlar was typicial of any 16th century Austrian farming town---farmers rose early to till soil, tend to their sheep and cattle, their wives spun yarn, made cheese and butter, re-lubed their sexy Italian sportscars. Aside from these daily chores, the only thing that seemed out of place in this picturesque hamlet of 326 folk was the large tobacco barns that dotted the countryside,which housed the leafy plants that, upon drying, would be tranformed into the one thing that children and adults alike craved like nothing else---Lucky Strike cigarettes. One might think that chocolate, or perhaps ahi tuna, would be an Austrian's biggest distraction. And at one time it was, during the so-called Era of Good Feeling, a period in history that came to an abrupt halt the very day a gunnysack-toting being limped into town...
Stay tuned for more...
...It wandered into town like a misguided sacred cow, a steam-driven, grotesque mechanical contraption, wheezing and whirring as it cast a long shadow across an array of small shops and curious on-lookers, one warm autumn afternoon. Some said this bizarre being had the appearance of an upright dinosaur, while others likened it to the old blacksmith who used to worth in a nearby county. Stranger yet was the fact that steam technology wouldn't exist for another 215 years! And this is where our story begins...
Lying beneath a sprawling Sequoia tree, Hans pulled a last drag off a Lucky Strike cigarette and, before flicking it into a nearby stream, used it to light another. It had been a long day for the eighty one year-old Austrian farmer, for he had tilled 1/2 an acre of potatoes, sheered a dozen sheep and rebuilt the carburetor in his Lamborgini Diablo. yes, tobacco is just what Hans needed for relaxation—that, and a bottle of 100proof George Dickle Kentucky Bourbon which he kept in an olde gunny sack filled also with hard tack and a few 100watt light bulbs, by his side...
Downton Larry (2019), by Tim Tonner:
The film begins in 1927. Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham, receives a letter from Buckingham Palace announcing that King George and Queen Mary are coming to Downton Abbey as part of a royal tour through the country.
As the Abbey staff prepare for a royal welcome, a mysterious visitor, a giant, inebriated lizard, precedes their arrival, arriving at the estate quite by accident.
Having time-travelled from 16th Italy, where he was gainfully employed as a Lamborghini mechanic, the king-sized reptile quickly makes himself at home, annoying staff with demands of tequila, cheeseburgers, and cannabis.
That is true, as Larry, or Lar-i as it's spelled in the Gozhiik region of Uzbekistan, translates loosely as "messiah". That is part of the reason for the years of unrest in post-Soviet Afghanistan, since the ethnic Pashtuns, who control the Taliban, have been trying to suppress the Gozhiiks for centuries, committing countless atrocities. The Gozhiiks, meanwhile, have either emigrated to India (which has caused a stir amongst Pakistani Pashtuns, prompting them to build a crude nuclear arsenal to prevent a regional takeover by the popular Gozhiiks, who are renowned throughout India for their temples featuring multiple giant frilled lizards) or joined forces with the Northern Alliance to battle their enemies. Let's hope the Gozhiiks prevail.
A shite-ton of people from all over the world attend Munich's famed festival every year. There are a ton of sites dedicated to it and everything is about fun, friends, family and beer. But Munich, one of the coolest and friendliest cities I know, has only seen the tip of the iceberg in terms of going sick, because Larry has been to the event three different times but has not yet gone BIG.
Oh sure, many have spilled their beers trying to bring it with the lizard, but now I re-purposed /fashioned a couple prototypes of a special pourer which can fit onto a classic sized Liltre mug or Maß, as they are called. We shall see in 2019 and beyond how this goes, and how many people we can have enjoying Larry at the fest! More to come. And there are some pics in this site from previous Oktoberfest fun with the lizard.
Have a question about THE REAL LARRY THE LIZARD? Let us know! (BTW I will get this all up on social media later)
Somewhere in MA